Hey uh…what’s the fitness secret that makes all our heroines so thin?  They don’t seem to exercise.  I guess we rarely see them eat, so they could be dealing with some food control disorders, but it is wrong to assume that.  They’re often pining, it seems, so maybe there’s a low iron count issue?

I just don’t know, y’all.  However, I do know what Summer and Lia’s explanation is:

They’re not actually healthy.  They’re muscular, they’re dangerous, they train at least a couple of hours a day.  But they’re not doing it right.  If they were, they’d look more like this badass here.

It turns out protein bars and in-season produce aren’t actually conducive to lasting health.  They are, however, cheap, and better than some of the other alternatives that do not require refrigeration and that’s sort of important to people who live in their car.  I know.  This is probably shocking news.  I am personally stunned.

Aneta Florczyk definitely eats properly.

Here’s my guess at the secret for everyone else, since it definitely doesn’t seem to be diet and exercise.  They’re imaginary, and we all wish we could eat whatever we wanted, never go to the gym, and still look like twelve year olds with boobs, because somewhere along the way we were told that’s what people find attractive, and instead of contemplating how that’s FREAKIN’ CREEPY AF, we aspired to be that.

Girls, don’t be like Summer and Lia.  If you’d like their training regimen, I’d be glad to provide that to you, but it’s really detrimental to your progress and health to do their workouts and eat like them, and they feel it constantly.  Also, if they had a chance, here is what they would tell you:

Speaking of cake, it’s my birthday this month! To celebrate, I’ve got a giveaway for five paperbacks at Goodreads and ten e-books on Amazon.  I would love it if you won and wanted to write a review or talk to me about it on the Social Media Option of Your Choice.  So. Many. Media.  I look forward to your thoughts!  Good luck!