I was kidnapped today! I was told to get a little dressy and then to get in a car, which then took me to a place where other people jumped in the car and then we fled to Jersey.

I mean, all the people in the car were family, so I wasn’t that pressed about it, but I can’t say heading over the river didn’t make me a wee bit nervous. Mostly because have you seen how people drive on the Turnpike? It might as well be a challenge in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, driving up the corridor.

But then we got on a train and I knew we were heading to THE CITY.

I have to all caps it because for me The City is my city, Philly. But New York gotta be extra ’bout everything, big letters, making everyone call it THE CITY no matter how many cities between it and you.

I was brought a little uptown towards Central Park and then we rounded the corner to The Tavern on the Green, which is a simultaneously adorable and enormous restaurant right in the Park. I thought that was a little bit of a hike for brunch, even if it was a fun one, and then we go inside…

It’s weird how no one was there and it was dark at noon, though.

My parents were there, too! The whole famn damily for a beautiful, boozy brunch with a slight breeze and live jazz in the background. It was absolutely lovely.

And I’m home! So I might have a little difficulty convincing the cops to take my kidnapping seriously. I’ll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, what all this means for y’all is that my scheduled posts are getting pushed back a bit. Chill out, have a mimosa and some pastry, man. Go pet a dog. It’s fine.