I try to do these weekly, but I’m finishing up book three, starting a new project, it’s the holidays and frankly life is quite busy. So expect updates to be a bit more sparse for awhile. You can always find me on various social media, like Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter (and Goodreads, of course!) if you want to see what’s going on in my worlds. (Links on the right!)
For now let me say, try to be kind. Please. There are so many ways things can take sharp left turns and you just never know when those will be, or who just had one. You don’t have to like everyone, you don’t have to be friends with everyone, but there’s no cause for being cruel.
For me, I abide by a simple hierarchy that I learned in third grade from The Music Man, of all places. In it, Marian is a sharp-eyed music teacher waiting for love. And she says this great line:
“I would like him to be more interested in me
Than he’s in himself and more interested in us than in me.”
She’s talking romantic love, of course, but I think this works well for all relationships you want to foster. Treat the other person like the most interesting thing in your life. Listen actively, engage, encourage, support. But remember that relationships are always a compromise, so set boundaries, know when to apologize, to demand apology, to take space for yourself, to state your needs.
If we do this whenever confronted with conflict, the resolution becomes quite obvious. I have to do what is necessary to preserve the relationship, to show care for the other person, and last of all is my ego. That’s it. That’s the heart of it for me.
I hope you all have a support system that recognizes you and your relationships. I hope you feel safe in asking for kindness and confident that you will receive it. And I hope you recall that kindness and niceness are separate. You do not need to avoid conflict to be kind, but neither should conflict be ongoing.
I think that’s enough of a sermon for now. I’m off to mentally unplug for a bit. Have a great week and let me know how you like to be supported or what relationships have shown the most commitment to you!