Screw Beach Ready, I Want Sleep Ready

It’s gorgeous outside for the first time in weeks, so this will not be a long post. As far as book three goes, it’s inching along. I want to make sure I’m completely satisfied with the story I’m telling, and apparently I’ve gotten more persnickety, because it’s taking forever. Yes. I know. I’ve had words with myself about it, and that jerk told me that if I didn’t like it, I could do it myself.

The nerve of me!

In the meantime, I’m preparing myself and my yard for summer, which has a lot of baggage around it. I want a Martha Stewart backyard and tanning confidently at the beach and that “easy summer living” I keep seeing in magazines but can’t seem to find because I refuse to pay people to maintain plants for me and I spend all my time at the gym in the hopes that I look effortless when I wear sundresses around the garden I curse at on the reg. It’s got me thinking why we do this to ourselves. Unfortunately, I came up with a whole host of reasons I prioritize doing things for my health.

So, as I prepare to go throw mulch around and brave spiders in the wild, here are some reasons to workout that don’t involve weight loss.

  1. Carry all the groceries in one trip (what you need to workout: lats, shoulders, rhomboids) Related image
  2. Sprint upstairs to be first in line for the best seats/bathroom/meet and greet (what you need to workout: quads, hamstrings, glutes)
  3. Headbang in stilettos (what you need to workout: this is a full body move. Focus on hamstrings, rhomboids, core strength, and quads)
  4. Stand up without making stand up noises (quads, glutes, core strength)
  5. Better sleep (no particular muscle group, unless you have one that really bothers you. Exhaustion is great for sleep)
  6. Better non-sleep bed activities. (This is dependent on what those are for you, full body is a good place to start. Reading in bed: focus on rhomboids and triceps. Jumping on the bed, you’ll want core, quads, hamstrings, glutes and conditioning)
  7. Loudly yelling at the sporting event/reality tv show of your choice. (what you need to workout: conditioning)
  8. Changing the station on the radio while the car is going over bumps without getting tired or accidentally hitting some other weird setting on the dash that then starts dialing people from your phone even though you didn’t realize you’d connected to Bluetooth. (Back, shoulders, triceps)
  9. Trying complicated new hair-dos (or cutting/buzzing your own hair) (ditto #8)
  10. To have reasons not to go to events you don’t like. (things to workout: your rueful expression and your best gym-selfie pose)




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